Breastfeeding Strike, ear aches, schedules and sleep

I'm going to try and write this as quickly, and grammatically correct as possible, but it may come out in a slur as I've a) had 2, not 1, cups of coffee, b) have a million thoughts running through my head, and c) as usual, only have this nap time to do the things I need to for today and write this post. SO, here it goes....

Breast feeding. Awesome. So glad I chose to exclusively breastfeed Annabelle for as long as I did. It was totally worth it. Nine months of drinking only 1 small glass of wine, never going anywhere for more than a couple of hours, and needing to be home each night by 8 to put her to bed....totally worth it. I'm proud of myself for sticking to it, and I'm glad we made it 9 months.

With that being said, I am not one of those advocates for "breast feeding into toddler-hood and preschool" type parents. I never had that intention to begin with, nor do I wish to. I DID think that we would breast feed until her 1st birthday, but that doesn't quite seem to be in the cards for us, and I'm okay with that. That is not to say that I am against BFing into the toddler years, and beyond. For those who do that... Yay. Props to them! Their children get that extra nourishment and closeness with mommies for a few extra months, or years. But, my plan was 12 months, and we're done at 9.This is when I had planned to start weaning her, but we're just done. How do I feel about this? Sad and relieved. 

What brought on this sudden halt in our norm? Biting. Plain and simple. To begin with, anyway. Annabelle got her first 2 teeth at 6 months, her next 2 between 7-8 months, and now she has 6, with another one (or two) coming in. The first two  (bottom teeth) were fine. They were on the bottom, hidden by her tongue while nursing. The next two (top teeth) were fine. She didn't really know how to use them yet. Enter teeth 5 and 6, and she suddenly turned into a vampire, biting every chance she got. At first, it was just a little annoying, and I could get her to stop. Then, she would BEGIN our nursing session with a big, strong BITE. Ow. No. Not working for me..... The first time she did that (at the beginning of her feeding), it scared the crap out of me and I looked at her and very firmly said, "NO, Annabelle. NO BITING".  She stared in shock, her lip started to quiver, and she burst into tears. I comforted her, but she would not continue nursing. The next 2 or 3 times we started her feeding, she would open her mouth really shallow (not wide, like she was going to nurse) and almost bite me, look up at me and start crying. I SERIOUSLY think she was traumatized by my firmness the first time. From then on, she would do the same, and I would try to comfort her before she even started crying by saying, "it's okay, get your milk" or whatever....but no... Sadly, she hasn't nursed since. That was a week ago.

I did a lot of research  about biting, what to do, breast feeding strikes, weaning, etc.....And came to this conclusion: She is biting because she does not want to nurse and is not wanting to nurse because of some ear problem. She has a cold, and has been tugging at her ears a bit, so I researched that. The obvious first instinct is that means ear infection. But I found that the cold symptoms and ear tugging could just mean teething, which she was in the process of. So, I didn't want to rush her to the doctor, but we did make an apt. Her doctor, on post, is booked until November, but that's a whole other frustrating story. So, we made an apt. with "whoever" was available. When we went in, she was acting fine, hardly tugging at her ears, and had no fever. Just a little fussy, and very stuffy. The nurse who checked her said her ears were red and orange (or something?) and that she has ear infections coming on, but they weren't in full force yet (I seriously don't get that, but whatever). So, they put her on some antibiotics. Which we had to pick up at the pharmacy down the hall. That's another part of the whole other frustrating story. ANYWAY....Annabelle is quite the trooper, and we made it out with only a few tears shed.


Back to the whole breast feeding thing.....

So, she has a double ear infection, which is keeping her from nursing, and she's biting because she doesn't want to nurse ( I guess that's her way of telling me?). I'm pumping as much as I can, so she still gets breast milk, and supplementing a little (the "meals" I would have been supplementing anyway for the beginning stages of weaning). I HATE pumping by the way. I have a small, annoying hand pump (cost $30 compared to $80-300 for the nice manual ones), that takes forever and is seriously just ANNOYING. I'll commit to pumping, sure. Because I still want her to get those nutrients, and quite frankly formula is ridiculously expensive, and I am not to the point where I want to spend $100 a month on it, when I've got the good stuff for free (+work).

 Before I took her to the doctor, I began a log when she started her "BF strike". I documented when she ate, how much, and when/how much I was pumping. After the doctor, and the realization that we may never BF again, I started keeping a better eye on the "BF Strike Log". After 2 days, I noticed a sort of pattern in her eating habits. Since she was entirely BF on demand before, and she eats like a bird, and gets distracted easily, there was no pattern before. Now that she's taking bottles (actually, sippy cups - from the recommendation of various sources, including doctors and friends), I actually KNOW how much she's eating.

I have had 0 schedule with her, besides "taking 2-3 naps a day", since she was born, so this actually really nice for both of us. Did I mention she's sleeping through the night now!?!?!? Yes, we are going on day 5 (or 6?) of 10-12 hour nights *. HALLELUJAH! I really thought that would never happen, as just before the BF Strike she was still waking every 2-3 hours to nurse. (*minus that one night where she woke at 1am and wouldn't go back to sleep for 2 hours...that was exhausting, but we blamed that on her poor little ears, since she didn't want to drink anything still, she just couldn't sleep).

When she suddenly stopped nursing it was SO emotional for me. I know I wasn't doing anything wrong, and there wasn't much I could do about it, so it wasn't like my feelings were being hurt, it was just SAD. BF really does give you a special closeness with your baby. And I think weaning that closeness away would have been a little easier, but a week later, I'm feeling much better about it, and actually enjoying this schedule a little better :) One night Sean offered to put her to bed, and I almost burst into tears. That's MY job.....I want to put her to bed :( I wouldn't let him. haha I needed that closeness...Now, a week later, I have let him put her to bed, and actually enjoyed the freedom of getting to relax an hour early!

Anyway  *sigh* I really need to write this down..... I'm sure I'm missing a few details, but I needed to get it out. This last week has been extremely challenging, confusing, and emotional for me. But, I feel blessed to have gone through it...I think Annabelle needed a schedule, a certain amount of milk, and more daddy time, and we both needed more sleep. Thank God for knowing just what to do to make that all happen. Honestly, I had a hard time with the idea of weaning and scheduling. I just didn't know where to start or HOW to do it. This has made it much easier.


Currently her schedule looks something like this:
(times are all "give or take 30-45 minutes)

7:00am - Wake up + 5oz sippy
8:00am - Breakfast (cheerios and banana chunks are her favorite)
9:30am - Nap + 4oz sippy (half formula)
Noon - Lunch (veggies, bread, yogurt drops, etc, & water or juice)
2:30pm - Nap + 4 oz sippy (half formula)
4:30pm - Snack (Puffs, or crackers, cheese & 2oz sippy)
6:00pm - Dinner (What we have if she can eat it, or something similar to lunch, she LOVES potato (red or sweet) chunks, peas, carrots, avocado)
8:00pm - Bedtime + 6oz sippy

She's sleeping 13-16 hours a day, eating 3 meals + a snack, and getting 17oz breast milk and 4 oz formula each day. I have no idea what is normal for a 9 month old, but I'd say that is pretty good :) 



Feel free to share your thoughts, your schedule, some ideas or encouragement :D